Part 1: The List
How to pick the right one??? I have seen and heard guys ask this question all the time and if they have not asked it, they are thinking it. And to be straight up honest...I have no idea how to pick the right one because I have not found the right one...yet! So instead of looking for the right one, guys should look for qualities that are in a good wife. There is a beautiful list of qualities in Proverbs 31: 10-31. For all those who don't care for what Bible says, take a chance and see that the Bible actually has some really good relationship advice, better then I could ever give.
The thing I have come to realize is that the list we men have made in our head for the "perfect wife" is not the greatest of lists. Because a lot of those things on that list focus on what we want and not things that are realistic. For example, Guys want a girl with a good "body", ok fine...boobs and a butt and that's fine but guess what guys?! Those superficial looks will be old and saggy one day. So instead of looking at who has the nicest "body," focus on the personality. The boobs may sag but the personality will only get richer with time.
This list we have created comes from many different things. I know my list has things on it that I have picked up from my wonderful mother. My amazing mother takes care of a 6 people in this zoo of a household and through her busy day, she always finds time to put food on the table for all of us. Food is a pathway right to a guy's heart, so this immediately went on my list. "My gal must cook for me!" This is just an example of how something gets on "the list." For negative things, it works the same way. I dated some one that was not athletic and I realized that I am way too athletic to not have someone to play sports with. So "must be athletic" went on the list.
These are all examples of the lists we make in our head. Some things on it are really good and some things are just plain stupid. You have to remember your motives behind why you created the list. Having a list is a good thing, I am not saying not to have one...but realize that they can cause more harm then good. Just because she does not have 2 and 6 on the list does not mean that 7 and 39 won't make up for it. Focus on the things that will truly last, it will be worth it in the end. When you are sitting on your porch with your faithful dog sitting next to you and your wife with her cat on her lap, both are reading the paper and then take the time to gaze at the beautiful sunset together. These are the times that show you that items 7 and 39 are way more important then 2 and 6.
Photo courtesy Uploaded on August 19, 2009
by LSE Library
Ha! I thought you were going to say "make a list of all the available women in your life... then choose which one you like the best." LOL! My dad actually DID that. Guess it's lucky for me that my mom was on the top of his list. But they had a terrible marriage.
ReplyDeleteI think you are right on in your list idea, but there are some things on the list that obviously need to be non-negotiable. Differences are great, and God strengthens us through our partner, but there are critical things that we need to share.
Sounds like you've put a lot of thought into this. Keep thinking it through! Finding a spouse is just the beginning of the work of a great marriage. (This is what I am finding out, anyway.) :-)
Love ya, and keep following God with everything you have, and He will eventually bring her to you. <3
I have one question...You have 39 things on your list? Hmmm...
ReplyDelete