Being Content?

My grandfather gave me the advice of, "you should try and date a 100 girls before you are ready and able to settle down." This is great advice because it does show you what you like and what you do not. I however took this advice to the extreme and have tried to reach that 100 gals, I pray I never reach that number because it means many broken hearts, and my own heart broken into many little pieces. I found myself searching for love, and I did that through relationships. I found a completeness when I was with a woman, you may have a different avenue...such as possessions, or status.

Whatever you try to use to fill that void, you will never be able too. When I am single, I find myself having these urges to buy video games, so I can get sucked into a fantasy world, silly I know, but it numbs the pain of the void. I find myself always looking for the next woman, but that will not fill the deeper desire of my aching heart. The only thing that fills that ache is being content and the only way I have ever been content is by falling head over heals in love with my Lord, and Savior. It is so cliche, that we always say have faith and be patient...I hate being patient, its no fun...its my life and I want it now! I use a lot of "I's", I am beginning to realize.

How is it that we feel the best when we serve, we feel the most fulfilled when we give to those around us. If you have ever served or helped a friend or served in a soup chicken, you feel better than you could ever imagine. When we stop focusing on what we want, and focus on the people around us...things actually work themselves out in ways that BLOW our minds. We were created to serve and glorify God, which I always thought was very selfish of God but He is God and who am I to judge Him but yet we feel the content and fulfilled when we do exactly what we were created for. I am not saying that serving will bring your true love into the picture, but it will change your life in ways that you will never see coming.

Love being Single

"You need to be alright being single for the rest of your life before you will find the love of your life"...I hated hearing this and this is all I heard growing up! So I was determined to prove this wrong and from the time I was 18, I have dated my fair share of girls. My grandfather told me to date a 100 gals, so I can find the things I like and don't like in a woman and then you are ready to settle down. After dating so many gals and then find things I really like and things that won't work, I thought I had a good grasp on what I desired in a spouse...but still something was missing...

I got into a car wreck a little over a month ago and it was a very dramatic experience. God took a lot away from me; Athletic ability, the ability to workout, girl interests, and my car...what He didn't take was family and friends, something I took for granted. My friends and family all stepped up and helped me through this rough patch, but something caught me off guard...and that something was me.

I was not happy with me, just being me. I was not happy with having friends and family that loved me, I was not able to go home and look at myself in the mirror and be ok with myself. If I was not working out or playing some sport or interested in some girl, I didn't see my self-worth. I always saw my worth in the things I did or things I had.

Not only that; but when I dated someone, the best in me always came out. I was the person I wanted to be when I was dating, but I was not that person when I was single. I found during this traumatic experience that there are things about myself that I want to change and I need to change them when I am single and not in a relationship. You can put on a good face for a long time but the real you will eventually come out. I have found that you have to love being single, love being you...the real you and when you are able to love you, then you will be much more prepared for your true love.