Problems

Problems will make or break relationships. Its whether you choose to allow these problems to end the relationship or make it stronger. The real issue is to figure out which problem is really worth your time and is it a problem or are you just trying to change the person. Everyone does little things that bug you and they know it too...their little quirks. So when you are dating someone and they have a little quirk that bothers you, its your choice to look past it or attempt to change the person and create a mount out of a mole hill. When try and change someone, you are trying to change something that has been apart of them for a long time...before changing them...try and do this in yourself, its not easy to do. Let the quirks go, they might become the most adorable thing in the future.

No the real issue, the big problems. These are the things that bother you day and night...they fester in your mind and keep you from properly functioning. An example would be you are dating a gal and she tends to hangout with other guys a lot and spend time with them and it makes the guy feel left out and unappreciated. This problem can go both ways and can become an issue for both of them. This would be the type of problem that you would need to figure out with your significant other. How you go about fixing the problem will either escalate it or move towards resolving it.

Communicate what is truly on your heart and what is truly bothering you. If this issue is eating at you, then you need to be brutally honest and speak your mind with love, not to tear down but to communicate your opinion. Through communication you can come to an agreement and work it out or find that you are not compatible and things come to an end. Problems are never fun to deal with but you have too; use love, listen, and with work, you will achieve answers and solutions to the problem.

Photo courtesy of istockphoto

Buttons

Problems in relationships are the worst. I have encountered many problems through out my relationships and they are no fun. When you first start dating, things are so wonderful. You are so "head over heals" for each other and things are just wonderful. Then all of sudden, while things are going great...some stupid little thing is said and starts the "first" argument. Usually the first one is not a big deal but it causes stress between the new couple. This can flare true problems or if handled correctly, nothing will come of it. So the first argument is out of the way and you learn of buttons not to press. These buttons you have to leave along! No matter what is going on with your relationship...those buttons are relationship suicide!

Say you had a really bad day, and for some reason when you meet up with your gal, she has it out for you. You become mad at her...so you start pressing buttons because you want to get even. Push the line too far and you will only cause pain..part of you feels so good that you shut her down but then reality sets in and you realize what you have done! Is it to late to fix it? No matter what is going through your life, those buttons are not worth the pain you will cause the other person. Would you want this pain brought upon you? When you find those buttons, leave along and forget about them...it is worth it in the long run.

Photo courtesy of istockphoto

Flirting

You are such a flirt!!! Have you ever been called this? I have been called this so many times and honestly I was offended by this. I know I can be a flirt but at the same time I am a very open person and love to talk with people. Everyone thinks that if you are open and paying attention to someone of the opposite sex, you are considered to be flirting with them. So you can't even pay attention to people without being called out for it, like it's a bad thing. People have forgotten how to truly pay attention and listen to the people around them. Guys flirt when they want to get to know women around them, or at least are accused of this. I am also sure that girls do this as well but I have no idea how they do this because they are so sneaky! Guys need to realize that if they want to get to know the women in there lives they will need to go out of there way to pay attention to them. Listen to them and ask them things about themselves.

So doing all of this is quite alright but there are these times that flirting is not alright at all! When people flirt to get attention, leading people on, and fish for the "better girl or guy". When you flirt to get attention to make yourself feel good, thats when its wrong. We all know what to do, to get that "look" form people and you all know what I am talking about. We all want to feel good about ourselves but we do not need people to fulfill this feeling for us. Christ gave us everything we need to feel good about ourselves, We do not need other to fulfill that for us.

Flirting for the wrong attention goes right along with leading men and women on. We flirt to get attention and then we use it to lead people on. You use the attention you manufactured to hang out with people and once again have the feeling of being wanted and loved at other people's expense. You are using other people to make you feel good, but what about those people. If you lead a girl on, then you are playing with her heart...does she deserve that? You getting attention is not worth another person's feelings, emotions, heart being played with. If your heart was being played with, would you enjoy that?

The final thing wrong with flirting is fishing for the "better" guy or gal. Sometimes I really do not know why we "fish" or "go for" the "better" person. If I had to guess, it's because we want a challenge when we are trying to get into a relationship. If man flirts with a women, and he is not really interested in her, but he is curious if she is interested in him, he will "fish" and attempt to see if he gets a nibble. If she bits, then he loses interest and goes onto the next woman. He will continue to fish to find a gal that maybe shows she is interested but in such a way that challenges him, then he will start reeling her in until he was won the battle...let her go and move on. Fishing plays with people's hearts, its not worth it.

When you flirt, use it to pay attention to people; not to fish, lead people on, or get attention. Pay attention to people and put them first...it is worth your time.

photo courtesy of istockphoto

Mr. Fix-It

Have you ever had a wonderful boyfriend or a real good guy friend that could fix anything. He would come over and fix the leaky pipes, he would be more than willing to help your parents out with weekend projects and odd jobs around your house. Guys like this are so awesome to have around, they can fix anything. And in all honesty its in a guys wiring to fix problems that are set before him. But then you go to him with a personal problem and guess what, he tries to fix it! You did not want him to fix it, you just wanted someone to listen to you...no more.

Ok Guys, this is were it gets tough being the boyfriend or good friend. When gals come to you with tough personal stuff they don't always want you to fix it, they just may want you to listen to them and thats all. When guys have a problem, we like to fix it right away. We do not want to talk about it or draw it out...fix it and get it over with, we are wired this way. Gals on the other hand, for some reason...do not always work this way. I really do not have a clue why and I'm not going to try and figure it out. All I can say with my experience is that if they come to you with a problem, be there for them and just listen. Don't offer advice or attempt to help them through it unless they want your help, and this would be an alright time to ask if they would be ok with your help. Remember just be there, provide a shoulder if need be, and just listen to them...the solution will take care of itself with time.

photo courtesy of stockphoto

Open the door!

You are walking with a beautiful gal to your next class...there is s door within ten feet of you...what do you do?! Do you rush ahead, look weird, and open the door for her? Or do you try and look cool and just let her grab the door? Well if you let her get the door, then you are a failure at life! A real gentleman will rush ahead and open the door for the lady. Yes of course you will look like a dork but think how she will feel? You are going our of your way to serve her.

If you look way back in time, the lady was always waited on. The men would help them off their horse, carry their bags, always open the doors...and if they didn't, the women would wait for the man to to open the door. They did this out of respect for women. Men back then realized how special women truly are and they served them. God calls us to have a servants heart and serve the people around us, special the beautiful women in our lives.

Now ladies let the man open the door for you. He is trying to serve you...not say you are incapable of opening the door yourself. You are completely able but the man is trying to serve you and go out of his way for you, let him do it. You are very special and deserve to treated as such. Guys, go out of your way and open the door for the ladies. Be sweet, kind, and open the door :)

Photo courtesy of The U.S. National Archives